It’s popular to motivate, encourage, and keep things positive. And I aspire to do that as much as I can.
But I also know that life presents all of us with challenges, with heartache, with issues that cause us pain. “They” say darkness comes before the dawn and I have found that to be true.
My darkest hours happened almost 3 years ago and although I have moved on, accepted and forgiven, there are still moments when the ‘dark’ returns or is re-triggered.
The heart can move on but the mind is like a video recorder and can play that old tape at any random moment.
When it does I sometimes can lose myself, fall down the rabbit hole, and feel that hopeless feeling. As I struggle to find my footing and climb back out to the sunshine that is my life right now I can’t help wondering how many others go through this. And I know that hearing positive things from others rarely makes me climb out any faster.
In fact it sometimes makes me feel worse, a part of me wanting to defend my right to suffer.
OMG. That’s a tough one to admit because feeling ‘bad’ isn’t something we want, right? But truthfully I know that it is in the moments that I allow myself to drift through the darkness, feeling my way through the caverns, and keeping my eyes open to what I can see in the murkiness, I always find another golden nugget of something powerful within me. Something that helps me get clarity about who I am and what I want. It can be scary but it’s always revealing.
And once I’ve mined that piece of gold and climb back out of the rabbit hole into the light, I am stronger, shinier, glowing with the knowing that I am okay. More than okay. I am safe and capable, ready to take another step on my journey. I might discover a new strength, a new skill, a new understanding of myself and my world. That new piece of gold is truly worth the descent into the darkness.
I still believe that reaching for ease, positive feelings, and higher vibration is the better way to manifest the experiences we desire but I also know that although being positive is helpful, Law of Attraction and all, I can also be easy with myself when I trip, fall, or jump (God forbid) into that place where the contrast lives. Where once again I am giving myself a choice to hold on or let go.
To move on or stay stuck. To accept my truth or deny myself.
That is why it is so important to be kind to yourself. Be gentle with your feelings and allow those painful thoughts to simply be noticed and then drift away. Most times they mean nothing anyway, unless we give them meaning. And we don’t have to do that. Instead we can see them and the challenges we face as an opportunity to explore the caverns of our being, dig into the foundations of our beliefs and find a treasure that might change the direction of our lives and we will be the richer for it.
So please know, that although I can be a great resource of tools, motivation, and inspiration to you and others…I come by these things through my own personal pain story. I know of what you speak, when you cry out in the night. And I can tell you, there is light at the end of the tunnel. That ‘they’ are right…darkness always comes before the dawn. And the dawn is that much more beautiful and delicious, when the darkness is the darkest it can be.
Till next time, live easy and be kind to yourself