Goodbye: Origin 1565-75; is a contraction of God be with ye
Wow, I didn’t know that. Did you? Yet it does make sense. Back in those days, goodbye’s could mean you would never see that person again as they traveled long distances, went off to do battle, or to explore new territories. One would send their loved one off with a blessing, God Be With Ye.
Today instead of God be with ye, we say goodbye. If you think about it, we say it almost everyday. Most times its relatively easy. We are saying goodbye to a loved one as they go off into their day. Or to a friend after coffee, or on the phone after a conversation. Those goodbye’s are almost habitual. We rarely feel anything as we say those words.
But when goodbye is forever…
as in the death of a loved one, or for long periods of time with the possibility that it may be the last time, as in a soldier off to war, our goodbyes are heartfelt. And many times full of grief.
Sometimes goodbyes are said begrudgingly…
as to a partner through divorce, or an unexpected job change, or a move to a new community. And with these goodbyes there is also grief.
Then there are some goodbyes we don’t even recognize…
as in to the dream we held that never came, or the thing we want we can not afford, or the ending of a time period in our lives like childhood, or the changing of our bodies as we age. And again there is grief.
So what is grief?
Most everyone knows today that grief is comprised of 5 stages which we all go through when we say goodbye. For with every goodbye there is always a loss of some kind as mentioned above. These 5 stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. It is important to know that we don’t necessarily experience these stages in order, or that once you’ve been through one stage that you won’t revisit it. The truth is we cycle and recycle through these stages as we eventually get to acceptance. Even then we may recycle as there are many aspects of the loss that we will learn to accept.
But what comes after acceptance?
Few people talk about that. Yet any time we accept or surrender to some loss, an empty space is created in our lives, a vacuum of sorts, which as we know, the Universe abhors. And so we will either fill it unconsciously or consciously with something new. Some new hobby, new dream, new person, or new idea. It’s the natural way of life and it is what inevitably moves us forward, past the loss, and into a greater experience of ourselves. I believe that this filling of the vacuum is the 6th stage of grief. I call it the renewal stage. We renew ourselves, our dreams, our relationships, our work, anything we choose for our greater good.
Is it conscious or unconscious?
That is the question. It’s not ‘if’ something new shows up. Because ‘it’ always will. When we choose unconsciously, meaning we are unaware that we are creating it or creating it from a desire to get away from the grief itself, then we could find ourselves in unwanted jobs, unwanted relationships, with unwanted health issues, etc. But when we recognize that we now have an opportunity to create something new consciously, we attract from a place of abundance and love that which will bring us joy and allow for more expansion. That is what I believe and what I have done.
No matter who or what we are saying goodbye to, when we allow our grief to run its course and consciously choose to create something new, we truly have let go and are saying once again, God be with ye. We have accepted, honored, and blessed the experience, the person, the situation that is moving out of our lives and are now ready to say hello to our next step whatever that may be. We have entered the time of renewal and life, like the buds in spring, will burst with color and beauty once more.
It is in the time of renewal that we find the ‘good’ in goodbye.
I hope you find this helpful and perhaps are willing and able to look at goodbyes with less angst and more peace. Remember God be with Ye, no matter the circumstance, is what you are truly saying when you say Goodbye.
Till next time, as always live easy and be kind to yourself