It’s January and a new year has begun. A time when people make New Year’s Resolutions which they typically break before March! Like so many, I look forward to starting a new year as a way to let go of some of the things that happened in the last year. But it’s not just about letting go it’s also about moving on!
The last two years of my life have been the hardest I’ve ever gone through. It seemed that every time I turned around I was facing another challenge. Each time I would look at it, feel my feelings of disappointment, anger, sadness, whatever, and then accept what was going on as part of a Divine plan to help me grow and become a greater me.
But some things just were too big to accept gracefully…
I found out my husband cheated on me with my best friend of 24 years. The betrayal was deep, the lies unending. I’d also gone bankrupt, lost my home, and then moved to a new community leaving the one I’d known for 25 years. In essence everything I’d known and trusted was gone and I felt lost, scared, and victimized. It was a devastating collapse of my beliefs about my life, my marriage, my friendships. And a huge blow to my self-esteem.
I’ve spent the last two years trying to reclaim a life for myself, dealing with sadness, rage, and self-pity. Hitting bottom on all levels, reaching out for a stronghold only to find myself falling again. Quite honestly it was hell.
I share this now, not for your pity or sympathy, but to let you know how far I feel I’ve come.
Because today, I am free. I am grateful for all the love and support I’ve had along the way. I have forgiven, accepted what I can not change and changed what I could. I recognized how much of me I’d put aside, given away, and ignored. How I lacked self-respect, true self-love, and how I had lied to myself about what was really going on inside me, namely how unhappy I really was with my life. I hope that in my transparency, if you can identify with something that has stopped you from having the life you really want, you know I understand your pain. Many have had challenges and heartaches in the last few years.
People have told me that they are amazed with how fast I’ve recovered, how my heart has remained open, how my strength and faith have been examples to them. And I would like to share how all that I’ve been through has led me past the endings, to new beginnings. To new goals. When I say I’ve set my goals for this year I don’t mean the standard goals about things I want to do, accomplish, have or buy.
I’m talking about something bigger. And I’m hoping you too will adopt what I propose. You see, it’s not about having or doing. It’s about BEING. We’ve all heard that before. But what does it mean to Be?
I think it means being fully present, in the moment, and taking responsibility for our lives. We all have the choice to take responsibility for our lives in an authentic, empowered and connected way. I know that my experiences over the last two years have been a blessing of sorts. Forcing me to go deeper. To delve into the dark night of my soul and find out who I really am, what I really value, and how I can truly serve.
So as I begin a new year, I feel like I am beginning a new life. One in which these five things are my New Year’s Resolutions, so to speak.
1. I will live a life of purpose. One in which I allow my dreams and my desires to empower me to move me froward even when I am afraid. I will create a plan for those dreams and commit to my highest potential.
2. I will focus my attention on the things, people and experiences that bring me joy and give my life meaning. I will live with self-awareness of my thoughts and feelings and choose to respond from a place of integrity and love.
3. I will take charge of my attitude. Knowing that I can generate, from within, all the miracles I want to see in the world just by taking on an attitude of gratitude, love, and curiosity.
4. I will love openly, accepting others right where they are at, encouraging their potential, and recognizing the gifts they offer me in learning and experiencing more of who I am. Most importantly, I will treat myself as well as I treat others.
5. I will take action every day toward the life I want to create. I will make every day count and bring the best me to every task, every person, and every experience.
What do you think? A lot different from the typical New Year’s Resolution of losing weight, making a million dollars, or finding a new relationship, right?
These kinds of resolutions are all about a commitment you are making to yourself about…
who you want to be, how you want to respond to the world, what you want to experience, and what you want to offer.
I invite you to consider these types of resolutions as they might help move you past whatever has hurt you, stopped you, discouraged you, or blindsided you. Many times in our lives we are given the opportunity to discover our deepest self. To explore our own capabilities, beliefs, and desires. That’s what I have come to believe the events of the last two years have offered me. And I now feel able to truly create the life I want, to be my best self, and to love myself well.
What will my life look like a year from now?
It will be full of love, passion, excitement, meaning, adventure, and joy! And even if it has some challenges, I am ready to respond from my highest self, authentically, empowered, and connected to my heart.
I wish for you the same. And I hope you found this helpful.
As always, live easy and be kind to yourself.